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The Power of Curiosity
August 15, 2023
how curiosity can shift everything
When we label intent, we judge our spouse, and ultimately ourself.
What if instead of our label, we got curious?
When we get curious, we give our spouse the benefit of the doubt, and then our label becomes an opportunity to be compassionate and empathetic.
This applies in our marriages and interactions with anyone!
Rude becomes, “I wonder if they are having a bad day.”
Hateful becomes "I wonder if they are hurt".
Stupid becomes "I wonder if they are misinformed".
Inconsiderate becomes "I wonder if they are desperate/unaware".
Insane becomes "I wonder if they are confused".
Terrible becomes "I wonder if they are scared".
We create our own drama when we label the behaviors of others and make up stories
about what they mean. Sure, inherently, there is "good/helpful" and "bad/harmful" behavior to a degree, but most of our frustration with others comes from within US, not from within them. Their behavior is activating something in us, or a part of us, that we also have an issue labeling with love.
(Read that again and again until you understand it fully.)
Example: (Austin here!) For me, as soon as I learned to appreciate myself, give myself grace and forgive those who once shamed me, I stopped calling other guys "cocky" behind their backs. I learned to extend them the same grace, positive intent and respect I had learned to give myself.
One of the most powerful pivots I've ever learned in my life is to stop and become curious anytime I start to feel anything other than bliss, when I start to judge, when I start to blame and when I label the actions of others.
Because of this, we have virtually no drama in our life. No, we are not making this up! We aren’t perfect, but this is something we put into practice daily, and it's helped us find substantial peace, grace for others, grace for ourselves, and a whole lot less drama in our lives.
So next time you jump to judge, instead, stop and get curious. This gift you will give yourself and other is much greater than you likely realize in this moment.
With love and joy,
Austin & Rachel
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